Off to the Races

Embarrassing confession: I only recently realized, at the age of 25, that I could effectively double my closet space and free up half my hangers by pairing my button-downs and my sleeveless dresses (also? It makes getting dressed about a million times easier during my morning pre-coffee haze. Essentially, between all the coordinating jewel tones I’ve created for myself a grown-up Garanimals wardrobe, a la Jen Lancaster.)

And while I’m absolutely counting this one in the “win” column, it made me wonder whether there are other little tips and tricks most adults know about, but I somehow never learned. After crowdsourcing answers from some very confused strangers at a hair salon, a Trader Joe’s and the fitting room at J.Crew, I present to you the following, with my own self-snarking commentary:

1. Using a staple remover to add keys to your key rings.
Okay, so everyone who’s watched me ruin a manicure trying to re-ring my keys? Which is three people? We’re in a fight now; this is genius.

2. Hang a wrinkled shirt in the bathroom while you’re showering to get the wrinkles out.
To be fair, I knew about this one; to be fairer, I thought it was an urban legend. Double-genius!

3. You can tell if your eggs are still good by testing them in water.
Do you know how many poor, defenseless, might-have-been-baby-chickens I’ve tossed out? Well, zero, because I’ve never purchased fertile eggs. I’ve thrown away a fair few eggs in my day, is what I’m getting at.

4. Tying a tie on a man is the same thing as tying a saddle on a horse.
Guess which one of these I’m better at?

5. If you can’t find your screwdriver, use a quarter.
Do I even own a screwdriver? Probably not. But I do own quarters. Several, even.

I swear I left my common sense around here somewhere. It’s probably with my screwdrivers.


Your Gal


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