A day in the not-too-distant past, which should neatly outline why, in the back of my mind, I secretly believe I have one great sitcom script in me.
6:30am: Awaken for morning ablutions.
7:16am: Burn forehead with flat iron. Curse appropriately.
7:18am: Burn scalp with flat iron. Curse inappropriately.
7:22am: Run tights on pretty but spiky shoes. Find another pair. Curse again.
7:38am: Late for train! Get in car.
7:46am: Car incident of which we will not speak. Call an Uber.
7:48am: 3x surge???!!! Resign self. (Curse again.)
8:50am: Ride elevator many stories, cursing weather, bad drivers and Henry Ford himself along the way. Realize Uber was over $50. Curse again.
9:00am – 6:00pm: Great meetings. Faith in humanity/good mood restored! Decide to walk home (four miles away.)
6:45pm: Leave work. Is it slightly windy? Procure coffee. Commence Homer Simpson-esque drooling. Mmmmmmm, coffee.
6:49pm: Skirt flies over head.
6:52pm: Skirt flies over head. Gather pleats and hold against legs.
6:59pm: Skirt flies over head. Curse. Call an Uber.
7:00pm: 3x surge? NEVER AGAIN.
7:13pm: Skirt FLIES over head. Download Lyft.
7:14pm: 25% Prime Time? Worth it.
7:18pm: Lyft arrives. Slide into warm, cozy car and realize you are soaking a very nice gentleman’s car seats.
7:35pm: Jump out of car, apologize.
7:36pm: Fumble for keys. Skirt flies over head.
7:40pm: Skirt goes in trash. NEVER AGAIN.