GGG 2.0: Gal Gift Guide

Bey heard I love white trees.

Full disclosure: I am the absolute worst person in the world to buy gifts for. Not because I’m terribly picky, but because despite having 364 days in a year to think about what I want for Christmas, my response to friends/family every year is “I…have no idea. Maybe a card?”

I’m not sure when or why this happened, since my childhood lists were long and beautifully detailed, packed primarily with a horse, horse-related toys and Dear America books, and preferably in that order. (Spoiler alert: my parents started their shopping with items two and three.) Maybe it stems from the fact that if I truly want something, I’m likely to budget for and buy it for myself before Christmas rolls around; maybe it’s that I don’t need most of the things I want, or that my inability to choose a restaurant applies to all game-time decisions in my life.

Whatever it is, I am not the person you want to receive for Secret Santa. But in the interest of making life easier for anyone shopping for a similarly frustrating young lady, I present the complement to last week’s Guy Gift Guide:

1. ROOKIE YEARBOOK V.3: Tavi Gevinson is the coolest of the cool girls; Rookie’s third yearbook is a reflection of that. With contributions from Lorde, Sia and the Sisters Fanning, your lady doesn’t have to be a teen to enjoy this beautifully curated collection. (Also, her imaginary best friends Mindy Kaling and Lena Dunham love it, too.)
2. ALEX & ANI: Alex & Ani is that rare product that every woman loves, even if she insists she hates jewelry. From birthstones to sports teams to gorgeously beaded patterns, Alex & Ani literally has an option for everyone. My personal favorites are the Queen’s Crown and the Phoenix Wrap.
3. RAY-BAN WAYFARERS: If every man looks better in a Clubmaster, every lady is even lovelier in a Wayfarer. Perfect for every face type and the kind of sassy and bold that makes a gal want to wear a red lip, the Wayfarer is the gateway drug to building your lady a fantastic sunglasses collection. Protip? Go for the classic, in tortoise or black.
4. REBECCA MINKOFF MAC MINI: This one is a bit on the pricier end, but if there is a more versatile bag out there, no one tell me about it. Available in any color a gal could want, the Mini Mac is the perfect size for a night out or to store the essentials in an airplane carry-on. Have a little more to spend? Try the Michael Kors Selma bag, which may just be the world’s most perfect satchel.
5. PERFUME: While it may be a no-brainer, every lady has at one point or another received 1.7 – 3.3oz of something that smells like rosy roadkill. Gentlemen, you cannot go wrong with Stella McCartney’s Stella, Hermés Eau des Merveilles or Dior’s J’Adore. (And if you’re really feeling generous, try to hunt down the Naked2 palette.)
6. THE RED TENT: I’m not exaggerating when I say every woman to whom I have lent a copy of this book has stolen it from me. Regardless of your lady’s age, ethnicity or religion, she will laugh and cry and read this novel until it falls apart.

As always, I’m neither fancy nor important enough for affiliate links: all opinions are my own!

Love,
Your Gal

The [Gal] Show

My face this week.

I am a ridiculous person.

Well, let me clarify: I am a person to whom ridiculous things happen. And fairly often. Generally it’s nothing major or life-shattering or even that important, but in nearly twenty-six years of living, I’ve yet to make it a week (in my own memory) without experiencing some small yet noteworthy event.

But occasionally, my week is less “wayward skirt in the wind” and more “I’m living in The Truman Show. Aren’t I?”

This has been one of those.

It all started Monday morning. Monday morning at 3:44am, to be exact. To backtrack, I have always loved living in old buildings. I feel out of place in a modern high-rise, and the few months I lived in one made me feel itchy somehow; consequently, I live in an old building. The sort of old building that sports a fire alarm that will not only rouse you from sleep, but do so with all the volume and urgency of an air-raid siren. The sort that not only invites you to leave your bed, but tosses you to the floor and kicks you out the door without letting you stop for your shoes.

But these things happen. Does anyone enjoy meeting their neighbors at the crack of dawn in 30 degree weather? No, but the fire department arrived quickly, determined it was a false alarm, and we were back to bed within half an hour. I recounted the tale for my coworkers, and laughed it off.

Until it happened again at 4:12am on Tuesday. And let me tell you, if you think a fire department is mildly annoyed by having to turn off an alarm in the middle of the night because someone was brilliantly smoking in the hallway (our working theory at the time), guess how excited they – along with residents – are to discover the culprit is actually a dying old warhorse of a smoke detector?

You can tell me this is an isolated incident; I would agree with you if it weren’t for Wednesday’s paper cup explosion and today’s incidence of a stranger grabbing a fistful of my hair on the train and telling me how good it smelled. Or the fact that what should have been a package of ladies’ athletic socks arrived today in the mail as a pair of toddler overalls (thanks, Big Box Retailer!)

Can you really blame me for being wary of falling can lights?

Love,
Your Gal

Quote of the Century: “I love purses, and that doesn’t mean I’m not a feminist, either. I’m a damn feminist who loves purses. Where else am I supposed to keep my feminist writings? In a purse, that’s where.” – New Girl

Meet My Friends, Kübler and Ross

Or, the five stages of going-to-a-bachelorette-party-when-you’d-rather-be-at-home-watching-E! grief.

Let’s preface this with a soundtrack.

(As an all-in-good-fun FYI, I promise I’m only slightly ancient and crotchety.)

1. Denial: The subject attempts to shut out the reality or the magnitude of his/her situation and begins to develop a false reality. Or, more simply put: a 25-year-old girl cries in front of her empty-full closet.

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2. Anger: The subject moves on from denial and manifests instead feelings of rage. Examples include subject standing on a street corner outside a restaurant, waiting for the rest of her party in five-inch heels before she can be seated.

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3. Bargaining: The subject’s anger abates, and he/she begins to negotiate with a higher or unknown power to avoid the cause of grief. A technique often employed by young women to stop their friends from hoovering tequila shots. This maneuver is often preceded by the “side-eye.”

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4. Depression: The subject becomes sullen and silent, but begins to feel an emotional attachment once again to persons and things; at this stage, the subject may also circle back to the anger stage, when she realizes, to her anguish, much of her party has scattered like a herd of cats.

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5. Acceptance: The subject is finally able to resolve his or her feelings about the future as well as past grievances; among young women, this is generally accomplished over a plate of shared chili cheese fries at a late-night diner.

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Happy blueberry mojito-ing, kids.

Love,

Your Gal